This letter is to Gator basketball player Lee Humphrey.

Dear Lee:

I just saw you were named the SEC's Scholar Athlete of the Year. Wow. This plus being earning ESPN the Magazine Academic All-America honors last week is super kewl. Congrats.

Hey, I've been meaning to talk to you about your 3s. I know the media keeps talking about your bike accident as the reason you weren't hot on the trigger for a few weeks. But you know what, I think it goes deeper.

See, I noticed that when you played Tennessee, the dominant team in your home state, it all started. Then we went to South Carolina. Then there was Vandy at home. You broke it with Vandy, but you did miss more 3s than you made.

You were coming back to your rightful place as the SEC's best 3 point range shooter. And THEN the bike accident happened.

So you see, the media has it all wrong. It is deeper. Psychological. I'm nearly sure of it.

You're starting to shake it - which is good. Just stop with the inner turmoil. Don't worry that Tennessee is your home state. The Gators love you & we're glad you're here. You don't belong on a team of crackheads. You belong to Gator Nation. So don't let them get to you again.

I'm glad we had this little talk.

Good luck in the SEC tourney - and again, congrats on being a super smart Gator!

Go Gators!
Kaye

This letter is to the Gator men's basketball team.

Hi team.

You guys were AWESOME today in Kentucky. But you already knew that.

So what is worse than NOT being in a gym to see you guys play live? Let me tell you. Watching the game on an HDTV station when the game is not broadcast in HD. OMG. It sucks hardcore. You were like fuzzy little ants running around the screen. I couldn't tell Chris Richard from Taurean Green. Okay - I could ... but you get the point.

Mark's grandma actually hates watching the games on TV. She thinks the announcers are Gator haters. She'd rather listen to it through the miracle of radio to hear Mick Hubert call the game. She has a point because for being as good as you are & given that you ranked & your opponent was not ... well, anyway.

Have a safe trip home & good luck in the SEC championship.

Go Gators!
Kaye

PS - Mark & I agree that the throwback uniforms need to be thrown out because they are bad luck - do you have to wear them in the SEC tourney? No one wants you to!

This letter is the University of Florida's Web administrator.

Hey Mr. ufl.edu:

I just wanted to say thanks for creating a kick ass university Web presence. All the kewl kids are talking about it.

It shouldn't come as a surprise that in this imitation blog that I would rip off your most awesome designs for the UF Web site. Remember, I may borrow but I'll always give credit.

So thanks for your part in making this kewl "Dear Gators" design possible. Thanks for creating the files, helping me with them & not arresting me for using them.

Go Gators!
Kaye

PS - this pic is from the Outback Bowl in January. BEAT Iowa!

This letter is to Gator fans attending the home baseball games.

Hi Gator baseball fans.

I know, tonight's game wasn't great. We'll have a chance to come back.

Hey, I wanted to ask you something. How come only about 5% of you stand & sway to the "We are the Boys" around the 5th inning but about 90% of you fools stand to sing "Take Me Out to the Ballgame"? I mean, which is more important? Solidarity with your college or some dumb song about peanuts & crackerjacks? I like crackerjacks as much as the next guy - but I prefer F-L-O-R-I-D-A.

In case you want to drop by & say hi at the next baseball game, I'll be the one standing & singing during "the Boys" but sitting & sulking during "Take Me Out."

Go Gators!
Kaye

This letter is to Gator basketball player Joakim Noah.

Dear Jo,

Can I call you "Jo"? Billy calls you Jo in the post-game interviews, so I figure that is what you go by.

Anyway.

Hi. We were at the game last night. You rocked. But after scoring 37 points, I'm sure you knew that.

Hey, what was up with that drummer in the band who hit the cowbell or cymbal or something right when you set up to release a free throw in the 2nd half? What a dummy. Did that mess you up? I remember the last time you made free-throws against Georgia. We were actually at that game in Athens in January. The student section kept yelling "you're so ugly" & later you said that it threw you off your first few shots. Your girlfriend responded by saying you were the prettiest thing to ever happen to the Florida Gators. I agree. Don't worry, I'm married.

This game was special to me because I'm moving to Athens this summer for my new job at UGA. It is unlikely I'll get to come back for as many games in the O'Dome as I'd like once I'm at UGA. Don't worry - even though I'm going to root for the Bulldogs on many occasions - I'll still bleed orange & blue.

One last thing. I really like it when you make a shot then turn to the rowdy reptiles & pump your chest. It shows that you know the fans are there & you care about us - that you want us in the game as much as we want you in the game. That is kewl so keep it up.

Go Gators!
Kaye

PS - that was kewl that your dad & grandpa were at the game

They say imitation is the best form of flattery. I agree.

So, I know that there is a guy out there who writes letters to Star Jones. He isn't stalking her. He just has things he wants to say to her.

Me too.

Only not Star Jones.

There are things I want to tell the Florida Gators.

Not just the basketball team (which rocks), the football team (most awesome in the SEC), the baseball team (CWS!), or even the gymnastics team (forever Gator chomping!). All Gators. All teams. All coaches. And, sometimes, fans.

Since I can't stalk all these individuals I have things to say to in FaceBook (maybe I've tried) - I'll just blog it.

So, I'm imitating that guy's blog because it rocks & keeps me from wasting time stalking the Gators.